La la la… months of diaper free days and then Zena was born. By the end of that first week my little man was back to daily accidents. I was unfazed. I knew this might happen, after all, with a new baby in the house, he was bound to regress somewhat. At first I was gracious and understanding, then, with moderate sleep deprivation, working on establishing my milk supply, and being mommy 3 times over… well, let us just say, I became less gracious and understanding.
Enter in Cici, also known as - Grandma, my mother, and Darth. Cici filled a much needed role in my little man's life during these early weeks with his new baby sister. He spent more time with her then he did with me, and at times I began to catch glimpses of my "pre-Zena" big boy. It was Cici that helped him to re-establish his mastery over the potty. She potty trained me using M&Ms as a reward. It worked in then and now it worked with my son.
In general I try to not use food as a reward, or to sooth an emotional or physical hurt. I've tried to separate the idea of food = comfort. I want my kids to see food as food. I don't want them to use it as so many in our society tend to do, as a crutch. However, I was so relieved that the little man was back on track, that I didn't care about the how. My focus at the moment was on the result, which was positive. I don't mean to sound critical of my mother's methods. Most mothers use similar reward systems for potty training. I was and am grateful for her help and amazed at how much better a mother she is than anyone I know, including myself. I still have so much to learn.
So I carried on the M&M method of potty training after Cici had to go back to her home. I figured, that this instance of using candy as a reward probably wouldn't permanently affect my son's relationship with food. But part of me wondered… it was a small part, not a big enough part to sway from our new protocol, but still… with America's obesity epidemic and childhood diabetes on the rise, AND as a woman who struggles with her own body image and weight, I am a bit sensitive about establishing a healthy lifestyle and habits for my children. Had I just thrown it all away for an easy answer? I've spent weeks wondering, not agonizing, but actively considering this possibility every time my big boy announced he'd used his potty and was ready for his M&Ms.
We had a HUGE bag of M&Ms they lasted us for the whole time, until last week. Last week, I told my son, as I gave him the last of the candy that we were out of M&Ms. There would be no more M&Ms until I could get to the store. And do you know what he told me?
"That's okay Mama. Big Boys don't need M&Ms anymore," and handed the candy, about 8 M&Ms, back to me.
"Well, you can have these."
"No, I don't want them. Big Boys don't need them anymore."
"Really?"
"Uh-huh."
"Umm… okay then."
The next day, at the store, we walked by the M&Ms and I stopped and picked up a bag. I asked him again, if he really didn't want them anymore. He looked up at me and sweetly said, "No Mama. Big Boys don't need them now."
Cici, you are a genius. Thank you!
Cici holding Jack's hand
No comments:
Post a Comment